If communication is key – why do we see so much less of it in a direct sort of way?
Just think about the important discussions going on in the world today - between the handlers and the news media. Why can’t there just be time taken to sit down and talk things out more directly? As a mediator/coach, it is what I like to emphasize most – let’s just talk about it. Don’t worry about what you initially want, need or desire – that piece of self will come later by practicing at being open and move toward building trust.
One might wonder - How is it that a Dennis Rodman (athlete now regular kinda guy) can have a conversation with a world leader (Kim Jong-Un) while paid and more empowered diplomats have less dialogue or even opportunity to be in the same room with this guy? Yet, his/our incongruent behavior may really mean they just really want to be recognized and garner some attention.
Let’s consider a more simplistic relationship – think about a child or even a pet. What quickly averts our attention to them most? Being the best they can be or demonstrating their worst? While the worst behavior may not be the most optimum it does accomplish the objective - our child or yes even the beloved pet now have our attention and some direct communication. Attention, even if negative – still makes us notice.